There is a beautiful trust that arises when you are confident in someone. There is an inner peace that rests in your soul when you know you can depend on them to always do as they say they will. There may even be someone that comes to mind when I say dependable. You might even go as far to say you yourself are a dependable person. This is great and all but the blunt truth is that every single person in your life will let you down some time or another, even yourself. Every person you lean on in confidence will disappoint you in some way. But the good news is that is how God created us. Wait. Emily are you saying that God gave us friends, family members, and acquaintances just so they can disappoint us one day? Well, yes and no. God did not surround you with the people in your life just so they can let you down. There is a reason and a purpose to every person that comes in and out of your life. I am saying God made us undependable on each other so that we would be completely dependent on Him. I find it comical when I realize I have made something or someone in my life a safety crutch I lean on. In challenging times, I will catch myself going to the crutch before I go to God himself. Yet I know exactly what comes next, because I know that crutch has to go. This is exactly why God loves to remove the crutches out from under us- to rid false dependency. If we find security in anything but Him, it is false. It is an illusion we let ourselves believe in because sometimes it is easier to lean on a crutch and never walk on the leg that is injured. Now there is a grace to every season, and God is so patient with us in our journey of becoming completely dependent on Him. However, there comes a time where He has to remove the crutches so we do not become unable to walk at all. If he never takes the crutches of false security away, we will never learn how to properly walk with Him.
Psalm 11: 1 NKJV: “In the Lord I put my trust.”
Psalm 11:4 TPT: “Yet Yahweh is never shaken- he is still found in his temple of holiness, reigning as King Yahweh over all.”
Psalm 131: 1-3 NKJV: “Lord, my heart is not haughty, Nor my eyes lofty. Neither do I concern myself with great matters, Nor with things too profound for me. Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul, Like a weaned child with his mother; Like a weaned child is my soul within me. Oh Israel, hope in the Lord From this time forth and forever.”
But what if I am afraid of falling when He removes the crutches? We cannot allow the fear of dependency on something that will eventually cripple us hold us back from freedom. As one of my dear friends always says, “God is a gentleman.” He is not going to rush you. He will never banter or condemn you. He is a gentle-man. Just as in Galations 5:22- 23 it says the fruits of the spirit are love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, so is Jesus. God is the Word and the Word is God (John 1: 1-3). The Word of God will never contraindicate itself, because it is truth. So just as God is gentle in all His ways, peaceful in all His ways, faithful in all His ways and so on, that is how we can recognize His presence. Do you feel the peace of Jesus in the area you are seeking freedom in? Do you feel His gentleness? His faithfulness? If the answer is yes, than His peace will accompany your first step in releasing the crutch to Him. It might be uncomfortable and the path may get lonely, but it will be worth it. You will quickly notice that the closer you become with Jesus, the more He will ask you to let go of. He will slowly highlight the crutches that you have gripped for so long, and ask so gently for you to release them to Him.
Being vulnerable, worship music became a crutch for me. And you may ask what the issue is with worship music. It is not that worship music in itself was bad, what made it dangerous to me is that I would press play to a worship song before I sat with the Lord first. Do not misunderstand what I am saying here, though. Worship music is a beautiful and holy vehicle that can usher in the presence of God. In my instance, though I became so dependent on filling the silence with music, rather than communing with Him first. It was so easy for me to fall into the rhythm of singing along with the words rather than to sit in the silence of His presence. But it is easy to forget that God is present in every moment of your life. He is tangible and always near, even when it does not feel like it. We get into the habit of treating Him like a distant God that sits in the sky instead of remembering that He is our friend, too. He is the bridegroom. He is our beloved. Though our eyes do not see, our spirit senses His nearness, and the more time we spend with Him the more familiar He become. But seeking freedom from false dependence is a journey. Freedom from anything is a journey. Allow yourself grace as you explore what crutches you may unknowingly or knowingly be leaning on. As for me, I am still on this journey of surrendering it to the Lord. I am not perfect and never will be. I love to worship the Lord, and I know the Lord created me for worship. However, with any good thing the Lord gives us, we must remember that He is the ultimate good thing. He is our prize. As Luke 10: 42 says, “But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.” If you seek Him, you will find Him. But learning to become secure in the Lord is something that will take time. There are layers of security in the Lord. With each layer of new found dependency in Him, comes a fresh sweetness that only He can bring. At the end of the day, letting go of a crutch can be scary. Whatever your crutch is that you feel is holding you back from going deeper with the Lord, just ask Him to reveal it to you. It takes boldness to even ask. But where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. Invite His Spirit to invade every area of your life, seen and unseen. Invite Him into all ugly parts of your heart. He already knows about them all, but He is just patiently waiting for you to surrender them to Him and He is patiently waiting to remove your crutches, too.
